Past
Events
Thursday
May 29th
@THE FOX CINEMA
2321 Main St. Vancouver
8 pm
Admission $12.00
The
Criminal Cinema and Todd Tomorrow present
RETURN TO PORNO CHIC V:
DISCO DOLLS IN 3-D!!!
Come to the notorious Fox Cinema for some good ol' T&A '70's style --
SIT IN THE SEATS WHERE ACTUAL PERVERTS HAVE SAT BEFORE YOU!
IMAGINE THEIR UNSPEAKABLE DEEDS AS YOU GET DRUNK ON CHEAP R&B BEER AND
TAKE IN THE NAUGHTY 3-DIMENSIONAL PLEASURES OF THE INIMITABLE DISCO DOLLS!!!
3-D glasses supplied courtesy of Black Dog Video
$12 tickets available at the door
TORTURE
GARDEN 2003 SCHEDULE!
SATURDAY
APRIL 26th
THE 3rd ANNUAL CINEMUERTE TORTURE GARDEN!
Where you don't pay to get in...YOU PAY TO GET OUT!!!!
at the Video In Studios (1965 Main St.)
8pm - 6am
Price starts at $20 and goes down $1 every hour you stay —
stay all night and pay only $5!
CineMuerte’s
infamous annual fundraiser rears its ugly head again with this
all-new program of shorts, films, rejected TV pilots and music
videos that are sure to repel and amuse with equal vigour.
Our sexy prison wardens will watching you at all times and
will handcuff you for smoke breaks (for a price, of course).
Cinemuerte
membership required for this event. (available free at the door)
On the schedule this year are:
Slade
in Flame
The world’s ugliest band play themselves in this bleak tale of a
working-class band who make it to the top of a corrupt business. Full
on Slade glam-action.
Corey Haim: Me Myself and I
Corey Haim, fresh out of drug rehab, tries to revitalize his career with
this projected TV pilot ALL ABOUT HIMSELF, as though people would care.
See Corey ice-skate, laze around in his pool, and give fashion and romance
tips. This is the most pathetic thing you will see all year.
Star Trek: the Wrath of Khan
(re-imagined)
See what happens when two drunk guys decide to re-dub the entire film
with their own voices, music and sound effects.
Deafula
You guessed it, a Dracula film done completely in sign language.
The
Last Days of Sid Vicious
A German short film with Sid and Nancy played by babies. Scandalous.
Black
Devil Doll From Hell
A repressed bapstist woman buys a ventriloquist’s doll and fantasizes
about it ravishing her. When it inevitably comes to life, guess what
happens?
Serge Gainsbourg’s Melody Nelson TV Special
Gainsbourg’s concept album comes to life in this half-hour special
that features him and Jane Birkin dancing around and being cool in front
of the cheapest backdrops ever.
The Devil and Daniel Mouse
Classic '70's Nelvanamation special about a folk singer who sells her
soul to the Devil to become a rock star.
Charlie's Family
A workprint of Jim Van Bebber's long-awaited Manson Family docu-drama.
Friday
Feb. 28th
The Criminal Cinema Presents:
Harry Nilsson's THE POINT with musical guests
at the Blinding Light
Cinema 8pm
Ringo
Starr
narrates the famed animated feature dreamt up, written and produced
by the late Harry Nilsson, based on his album of
the same name and featuring the hit song "Me and my Arrow". In
a land where everyone and everything has a point, the birth of
a pointless child throws the kingdom into an existential crisis
that is temporarily resolved by banishing the youngster Oblio
and his pet dog (and accomplice) Arrow to the Pointless Forest.
On their journey, Oblio and Arrow meet a bizarre stable of characters
no doubt inspired by Nilsson's many acid trips. Furthermore,
they discover that just because someone says they have a point
doesn't mean they do, and sometimes the most seemingly pointless
things are the most integral to human existence. A treat for
Nilsson aficionados and '70's animation fans alike, THE POINT
will be preceded by a musical performance in memory of this visionary
artist.
Saturday
and Sunday March 29th/30th
The Criminal Cinema Presents:
CANDY VON DEWD
At the Blinding Light
Cinema 8pm
In the
22nd century, mankind faces extinction: radioactive waste, ozone depletion,
genetic engineering, tight polyester pants, and other forms
of bio-plunder have wrecked the genome and abolished scores of nature's
laws, and worldwide fertility rates are dropping. Scientists fear that
at the present rate procreative feasability will not last into the 23rd
century. 174 'Rocket Leroy' expeditions now search the galaxy. their mission:
to locate seedable life forms and a possible solution to Humankind's fertility
problem. Join us for the Canadian premiere of this latex-clad Barbarella-style
opus of sci-fi punk and Amazonian erectronica."Like Scott Walker and Serge
Gainsbourg collaborating on Dark Star" (Kier-La Janisse)
SATURDAY
APRIL 26th
THE 3rd ANNUAL CINEMUERTE TORTURE GARDEN!
Where you don't pay to get in...YOU PAY TO GET OUT!!!!
at the Video In 8pm - 6am
Anyone who's missed Cinemuerte's annual fundraising movie marathon knows
full well by now to not let another year pass by without taking in the
Torture Garden's cavalcade of perversions. We brought you 'Steve Vai's
Greatest Fan', 'Mad Foxes' and 'Pink Slip'. This year, we have a whole
new bevy of insane cinematic treats that will test both your gag reflexes
(one of our own volunteers threw up last year) and your secret lust for
Corey Haim. Provided you have a Blinding Light membership (available at
the door for a mere $3), you just walk in -- and see how long you can last.
prices start at $20 and go down $1 every hour you stay. Anyone left at
the end pays only $5 and has a chance to win something or other.
