Critters Movie Review

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Critters

Dir. Stephen Herek
USA 1986 35mm 82 min. PG-13

Critters has got to be my all-time favorite guilty pleasure. After all, no discerning critic would admit to adoring a film whose comedic high points involve small, spiky creatures mumbling obscenities in an alien tongue, and where a Z-grade actor like Don Opper is capable of scene-stealing.

The basic premise: some renegade "Crites" bust out of an intergalactic prison and land in Grovers Bend USA (whose inhabitants include perennial movie-mom Dee Wallace) and all hell breaks loose. Meanwhile, a shapeshifting bounty hunter assumes the form of an MTV rock god (a really lame attempt at looking inconspicuous) in their pursuit.

Now, I've seen CITIZEN KANE, THE APU TRILOGY, 8 1/2, a handful of Bresson films and everything on the AFI and BFI top 100 lists. And if you add them all together, it still wouldn't equal the amount of times I've seen Critters. That's devotion. In fact, my life is empty because my parents would never buy me one of the "deluxe Critter" that used to appear on the back cover of Fangoria Magazine. If anyone out there has one, I want it.

Kier-La Janisse

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